Written By: Wendy
Promoting prosocial behavior has become a fairly recent obsession of mine. What, you may ask, is 'prosocial behavior' exactly? Good question! But first let me dive a bit deeper into my background for a moment. I am a BCBA, or board certified behavior analyst, so my thoughts are constantly consumed with how and why people behave in the way that they do. (Yes, I started analyzing your behavior when we met. Sorry I can't help it!) Prior to traveling, I was a special education teacher for 5 years and then worked in a couple different school districts as the district wide behavior specialist for 5 years. I have seen incredible things happening in our public school system, and I've seen some things that need revamping, but that is a conversation for another day because, boy, do we not have time to jump down that rabbit hole!
When I first became a behavior analyst, my focus on the application of the science of behaviorism was mainly to individuals who were engaging in challenging behaviors and how to reduce those behaviors and increase desired behaviors. I worked with staff on how to implement behavior intervention plans and was successful at changing the trajectory on many students' school career. My mind was blown, though, in 2020 when I attended a virtual conference on culturo-behavior analysis, or the application of the science of behaviorism to big world problems, such as reducing incarceration rates, increasing nurturing behaviors in our society, minimizing greenhouse gas emissions, and so many other world wide problems. I then read a book by Anthony Biglan, titled: "The Nurture Effect: How the Science of Human Behavior can Improve Our Lives & Our World." I was captivated and blown away by his application of behaviorism to bigger problems and how to generalize it across society. One particular principle I was enamored with was the idea of 'promoting prosocial behavior.' As defined by Google AI, prosocial behavior is: "voluntary actions intended to benefit another individual or group." By promoting prosocial behaviors, you can model and reinforce positive behaviors that you want to see more of in society. We've all heard of the benefits of 'random acts of kindness' and how that can benefit others as well as yourself. We've heard kindness is contagious and that it can catch on, and a lot of us usually try to be kind and helpful as best we can, but we're all busy, right? Our kind acts are often inconsistent and depend greatly on our mood and external factors. Did I just get promoted at work? Yes, I did, so of course I will pay for some random person's coffee today! Did I just get out of a 2 hour power struggle with my child that did not end well? Yes, I did, so no, I will not be holding the door open for you stranger, sorry. And that's generally how our kindness goes. If someone initiates the kindness and randomly gave you free tickets to mini golf, you are often more likely to pass on that kindness and treat someone else more kindly. But if you're in a bad mood that day or just happen to be a curmudgeon, you probably won't be as openly kind to others.
The world can always use more kindness, right? So I got to thinking, what if I and my family can consistently show kindness on a regular basis? Enter our 50 pies family mission. It is a bold goal, but it is an achievable one to make and giveaway 50 pies and pizzas in each state for a total of 2500. We have had over forty 50 pies parties and given away hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of pizzas and pies. At our our pizza parties, we give away free pizza and/or pie, often to complete strangers or people we just met. Sometimes we ask others to bring a side to make it more of a community meal, but we often ask for nothing in return. People will frequently ask us how much it costs or how they can pay us, but we intentionally say this is just for you to enjoy. We do encourage others to pay it forward. Sometimes we have been given gifts in the form of a loaf of sourdough bread or invited to eat oysters with total strangers, but we are not expecting or seeking anything in return. That is the beauty of kindness.
My husband and I created our family goal so that we could truly show our children how we are living out our family values in order to best instill those values in them. As a side effect of us modeling positive prosocial behaviors for our kids, we are also modeling prosocial behaviors for others. We want others to see that they can sit down and share food and an afternoon with strangers and possibly enjoy doing so. They can put down their phones, jump outside their comfort zone, and appreciate genuine human interaction with people they might not have otherwise interacted with. We have met so many amazing people this way and have had the opportunity to bring others together in lasting ways. In New Mexico, we had a group of about 40 people, all of which were complete strangers show up and enjoy pizza and pie with us for an afternoon. In Arkansas, we invited a few groups of people we had just met and had long and deep conversations with about 10 new friends. In North Carolina, after handing out free pies, a group of locals invited us to join them from their oyster dinner. We've used our pizza to reconnect with old friends by stopping in Pennsylvania to see a friend from college to share pizza with him and his family. In every case, we have helped people to slow down, enjoy human connection, and given them an opportunity to interact with others who are possibly different from them and they probably would not have interacted with. We are hoping that by showing others how to be kind and connect with others, it will leave an impact and be a precursor for them to do the same in the future.
What can you do to promote prosocial behaviors:
Do you want to be a part of the change to promote prosocial behaviors and create a more nurturing society for your children? Of course you do! Why wouldn't you? Here are some ideas to start with:
- Model positive behaviors that you want your kids to do (Remember they are always watching you...)
- When you see your kids doing behaviors that you want them to do, encourage them and reward that behavior (even just with a smile or high five!)
- Make a goal of how many acts of kindness you want to do in a week. This could be an individual goal or make a whole family goal and work together to achieve it.
- Determine your family values and come up with a family goal together based on those values. How can you work together as a family to achieve that goal?
- Consider joining The 50 Pies Challenge to join us on our mission of spreading culinary kindness and promoting prosocial behaviors!
Sources:
Biglan, A. (2015). The nurture effect: How the science of human behavior can improve our lives and our world. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.
https://www.learningandthebrain.com/blog/the-nurture-effect-how-the-science-of-human-behavior-can-improve-our-lives-and-our-world-by-anthony-biglan/
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-prosocial-behavior-2795479